One Woman's Experience

Dear friends:

I've just been reading some of your articles and specially those about PBA. I was shocked. I'm still in shock. I am a mother of two healthy little girls ages 3 and 2 who are the light in my life. When I was 21 I decided to have an abortion. I come from a very conservative family who would probably hate me for being pregnant without being married. I was 6 weeks pregnant but I felt that that tiny little thing inside of me was already a little person. Everything happened so fast that I didn't really have time to think about it. My boyfriend was starting a new business and I was still in college with a prominent successful career in front of my eyes so this baby was going to be a "problem". Besides. I was so scared about my parents reaction and of hurting their feelings that I just let things happen, trying to convince myself that I was doing "the right thing" and that the "baby" was just a bunch of tissues inside my womb.

Needless to say that after the "procedure" was done, I felt that all the emptiness of the universe was left inside of me. There was nothing, just emptiness. And that same feeling was taking control of every part of my life. A few hours after the abortion, I started crying and I didn't stop for a long time.

For many years I woke up in the middle of the night because I heard a baby crying.

Now that I look back I feel sorry. Whenever I look inside my little girls' eyes I see that tiny little baby, so small, so alone...I keep asking myself why did I do that...

...When I first saw my daughter over my chest, after a long painful labor, still wet and covered with blood, looking into my eyes, so quiet, so warm, I fell in love with her. Being a mother has been the most rewarding, wonderful experience in my whole life. A baby is always a blessing and NEVER a problem.

...I just wanted to share my experience with others. There are many alternatives to abortion, please don't kill your unborn baby, since when you do it, a big part of you also dies. Keep in mind that a woman who aborts her baby is STILL a mother, but the mother of a dead baby.


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